This is all Johanna's idea . . .

My dear friend Johanna thought it would be a good idea for me to start a blog about my experiences in the craziness (or "adventures," as she calls it) that is new mommyhood. Actually, I had been thinking about some kind of platform from which to record all of the amazing milestones this new baby reaches, as well as the things that nobody really tells you, the things you never expect, the things that are simultaneously as wonderful as they are mysteriously mind-boggling. Why not use one of the several baby books I have received, or one of the first-year calendars that are currently collecting dust on the bottom shelf of MJ's bookshelf? I promise, I will fill them in eventually, including the relevant photographs and momentos that make up the record of her initial existence, but I needed to start somewhere. An online blog seems somehow more accessible. I already have to check email and feed my Facebook addiction. The baby books demand more creativity than I can manage at the moment. The very idea of imagining page layouts and color schemes makes me feel tired, and I'm already filled with enough tired as it is.

So I'm already behind.

Let me start with a list:

1. Machaela Jane Rhodes was born on March 4, 2010, at 10:06am. Her 7 lbs, 13 oz, and 20 1/2 inches were the result of 38 weeks gestation and a beautiful epidural, given at 6cm dialation (around 4:30am). Hats off to those mommies who deliver "naturally," although I cannot imagine what in the world is natural about wanting to feel yourself turn inside out and back again, because that is exactly what happens. You turn inside out, and what was part of you goes around bouncing in the arms of other people, crying sometimes incessantly, and melting your heart with early smiles. But that is another number on the list. Anyway, I will remember my anesthesiologist forever. His name was Will, the placement was absolutely painless, and I had full and complete relief immediately. I pushed (again, painlessly) for about an hour once I was fully dialated, and out she came, gooey, beautiful, and with a nice set of lungs.

2. People are curious about her name. Mike picked it. I have had a full list of names prepared since elementary school, but apparently Mike had a list too; although, I don't know how you can call it a list, since it only had one name on it. He didn't even have any boy names picked! He and his brother, Daniel, have loved the name Machaela since one of their neighbors' children was named Machaela. They argued over who would eventually get to use it (you snooze, you lose, I guess), and in the end, we were the first to have a baby. I had other names I wanted to use, but we compromised. As long as I could choose the spelling, he could have his name. We considered the usual spellings: McKayla, Makayla, Michaela, etc., and she'll probably hate that we didn't pick one of them. My name is spelled in a way that no one ever gets right, and although I've always despised my parents' penchant for unique-ness, I now appreciate that I'm not just Kelly. Kelley has six letters, and it looks nice that way. Even numbers are good, right Emily K.? (hates odd numbers - can't even watch TV if the volume is set at an odd level) and the six letters look balanced and even. So, even though her name is spelled a little differently, and countless teachers will probably pronounce it "Ma-chay-luh," I think she'll appreciate it later in life. I just hope they pronounce it correctly at her college graduation.

3. MJ rolled over for the first time on Tuesday, March 23. She was two days shy of three weeks old. I know what you're thinking: impossible! Babies don't start rolling for the first few months! Guess what? My baby is brilliant. Get ready for a laundry list of the amazing things she is able to do before her time. I'm sure she'll be attending college at age 10. Now, I wouldn't count this rolling thing if I didn't believe it was totally for real. It was on our bed, and at first, she was assisted by the valley created by the weight of her daddy sitting next to her. So, naturally, he got up and we reset her on her belly. She did it again. At this point, cheering madly, we grabbed the video camera. I was sure she wouldn't do it a THIRD time, but I was shamed for underestimating her talents. She rolled over, from her belly to her back, for a third time and we captured the proof on film, for all eternity. I should probably contact whomever determines whether or not your child is a prodigy.

4. MJ smiled for the first time on Thursday, April 8. This is another one of those things that might fall into the category marked "gray areas." What really counts as a smile? I mean, she was curling her lips into that sweet smirk only hours after birth, but she wasn't really smiling AT anything. She was mostly doing it during sleep, for crying out loud. She was probably experiencing some kind of evolutionary reflex meant to charm adults into falling in love with infants so that they remain fed, clothed, and cuddled into adulthood. I'm not talking about those smiles. Some people say, "oh, it's just gas." Let me tell you something about the gas smile. You KNOW when it's a gas smile. MJ doesn't have any kind of prissy, tummy bubble gas. MJ has gas that clears rooms. She has gas that competes with passing trains. And yes, she often smiles when she lets these "fluffs" pass from her body, but who wouldn't feel better once those things are let loose? Better out than in, as they say. No, this smile was the real deal. She was in mid-cry, and as I was leaning over her cradle to lift her up, I sang the first verse of her "good morning" song (because when you have a baby, everything is a song). When she heard my voice, she opened her tightly clenched eyes, focused on my face, and instantly gave me the most amazing, heart-melting, open-mouthed gummy grin, complete with dimples. If that's not real, I don't know what is.

That's enough for now. It's 12:48am, and as much as I complain about being utterly exhausted, the baby and Mike are both sleeping, and I am not taking advantage of this magical time. More as it occurs to me, I suppose. Also, if this blog is lame, blame Johanna. ;)